My Thoughts

Thursday, January 17, 2013

In any area of our business, what we do has consequences. Sometimes those are good. Other times we are left with regrets. Actions have results.  That’s a universal truth. It never changes. We will always get the results deserved by the activity that we were doing. We might not like those results, but we will always get them.

That can be a good thing.  We need to believe that what we do can make a difference.  A kind word matters.  Honest matters.  Being open, personal responsibility, and fairness — they all matter. Because the culture we create is the culture that ultimately decides how successful we become.  Make sure we are doing the right things. What goes around comes around.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

THE MANY VARIETIES OF HIDING. 

Why do we hide?

There are many different reasons that we may endeavor to hide, or disguise, the emotional pain that comes in the wake of negative beliefs about ourselves evoked by a particular person or situation. But what they have in common is that they're all fear-induced.

Before going further, let's summarize all the different experiences associated with keenly felt of hiding oneself. Though the list below doesn't aim to be exhaustive, it probably includes most of the self-referencing assumptions or interpretations that lead to hiding. All of these items relate to feeling, or somehow being made to feel:

Unworthy or worthless
Disapproved of, invalidated, or rejected
Not listened to or understood
Like a non-entity--or invisible
Unloved, not cared about or wanted
Insulted, disrespected, distrusted, devalued, or discounted
Taken advantage of; betrayed
Inadequate, defective, incompetent, behind the curve, inferior or looked down upon, unacceptable
Slow, stupid, foolish or silly;
Dishonorable or cowardly
Embarrassed or humiliated
Weak, helpless, or defenseless
Undeserving of time, attention, or recognition
Like a failure; "loser"
Guilty, shameful--or a bad person generally

Having explored many of the reasons why we hide ourselves from others, in closing I’d like to suggest the primary reason not to. In brief, if we don’t let others know that what they’ve said or done has hurt us, they’re likely to continue doing exactly what they have been. For typically the main cause of their inflicting emotional pain on us is their being insufficiently sensitive to--or aware of--our soft spots. Maybe not always, but most of the time their motives aren’t at all vindictive or malignant.